Score for the week: 40-Love

For the past month or so, I am very tempted to believe that life is just more hard than beautiful. Good Mothers can feel like an overworked, overtired, and under-appreciated lot at times. I am in one of those times.  Stay at home mothers who choose to be present and available, who then homeschool, keep an ordered house, cook healthy meals, have kids in sports, have husbands in busy careers, are juggling a lot. We don't get the recharging breaks of time away from kids or our workplace. There is a lot of invisible work, and unending work in making a busy family life run smoothly, keeping hearts full, and smiles on faces. There are a lot of drains on the heart and emotional tank for Mom.

I have had a year with constant challenges, and my tank is running on empty. It seems every time I fix a problem, surely a new challenge takes it's place, or the problem reappears. Recently it was the broken air conditioner during the hottest 10 days of the summer, which broke twice despite handing over thousands of dollars. This was accompanied by a husband sick in the hospital for the second time this year. Now onto the broken sprinkler system,  ant infestation, leaking shower, etc. There is the ongoing career disappointment and the stress of high power jobs which take a toll on one's spouses health. There is sadness watching our culture decline and become crass and utilitarian. There is this constant stream of tasks which need to be done, and redone, and seem like futility because Mom is tired. I could go on for a while, which is pretty sad. If one rests the household tasks grow and that itself creates more to do. I feel like I'm in a Mommy hamster wheel running through the demands of each day.

In the past, the joy of raising children far outweighs the many struggles and disappointments of daily life. Kids help us laugh at everything, and all is fresh and new each day. Lately there are more struggles than joy, the thunderstorm has lingered. The steady stream of challenges have always been there, but the lately seem harder, bigger than us, and sometimes bigger than our love. There is an exhaustion that seems like it can't go away, and the heartaches that can't be fixed by us. Somehow He can heal them, I believe that. Not sure these days how. The disappointments deeper than can be expressed, are in so many things. For those who are loved, life is beautiful. Love makes life beautiful, there always needs to be more love, and it solves everything. Love is unmatched in the game of life. We have seen that over an over. The greatest problems come from lack of love. Love is building up and sacrificing, and believing in others and trusting and it comes from above. It transcends weak tired Moms, excels the boundless energy of kids, and meets each challenge head on: sickness, disappointments, what have you.  Being empty lately, feeling taken for granted, feeling torn down by all the challenges, has made life seem extra hard. So we look here for love, and rest, and trust, and grace to bounce back.