The very long fourth trimester

Well this has been a long fourth trimester, and we're so happy to come through the storm. This little tiny baby had tummy pain and had trouble ever being comfortable for the first couple months. She was sad a lot, especially if she ate. She seemed to overeat, and then spit up much of her food. Mom had oversupply, inflammation, because the baby had trouble getting the milk, and then Mom had mastitis. That made it harder for them both. It seemed she was always hungry and Mom was always full so this natural thing we love called nursing wasn't going so well. She couldn't suck well and it was hard to figure out what to do, with pumped milk in bottle or nursing from the source. She filled up on some milk with mostly too much air and then had a tough time burping. So she was in pain. Then tired Mom was in pain. We would feed her and then all of it seemed to come back up and we wondered how she grew at all. We were in a bad cycle, and then the mastitis came. We were told to give up nursing when the mastitis didn't clear. We went on the wrong antibiotics twice. We ended up in the ER on an IV drip overnight to kick the infection and get a milk culture. It was, well, really hard. We narrowly avoided giving up nursing and we finally got some good help.

We found a very good lactation person, who gave us good information and who did some cranio-sacral work with Elena. She also gave us a hospital pump. She help her with her suck. We thought we had cut out dairy, but then we really cut out all dairy, and citrus, and lots of foods trying to see if that would help. She also got on a little medicine, and that seemed to help also. But that alone had not been helping. The recipe of changes all combined helped and slowly everything was getting better over a week or two.

Then... she seemingly became a different child and doubled overnight. Mom was becoming comfortable, nights were getting better.  Nursing starting becoming easy, and comforting, and soothing, and everything was working well. She started sleeping and eating and smiling, and growing.

But she was still struggling some, and we couldn't always figure out why. If we were tired it seemed like she would 'always be hard'. We were run down. So when she hit three months old and she could finally lay down flat on her back without crying we celebrated. When we went from constant spit up on our clothes, to occasional spit up, we celebrated. When we got her to take a nap on somewhere other than our shoulder, and not go down moaning to sleep we were elated.

 Now she has changed, and she's really a different baby. Whew! That was really tough!! We wouldn't have wanted to do it alone. We need to remember to love our friends when they are in the new baby fog. To remind them the time is short, and one day they will sleep again. We are so glad a few friends did that for us. And we are so thankful for help, the support, and the encouragement.

Daddy and Auntie Lora helped so very often. Having a baby cry and being unable to take away their pain is a terrible ache for Mommy. Daddy would take her for walks in the front pack. He found she was happy as long as he didn't stop walking. We called him "Forrest" Dad and would say "walk Forrest, walk." He walked her around the house and then around the block some nights so Mom could spend a little while with the other kids at bedtime.
Auntie helped a ton. She saved Mom from utter exhaustion, and gave more than can be documented. Our sanity we owe to her. Elena loves her Auntie Lora so much. She loves to be held and hear her voice, and it is such a gift to have someone other than Mom who makes her  happy. The other children also love having someone to listen to stories, to play with, and the for the two five year olds, even though they don't know it, they really needed that extra person to keep them following the family routines when Mom was wiped out.

 We have all pretty much sacrificed in little and big ways our activities, outside people and events to weather this storm of the new baby in her fourth trimester. Hopefully my kids will look back and realize we (really Mom at this stage and because of Dad's job) gave it all we had, and loved this baby when she was tough. Mom, or the shadow of a figure that was her, who has aged greatly in three short months, is so relieved it is all getting easier. She truly felt like a cat hanging by her tail, for many weeks. She is looking forward to life returning to more normal. Every extra hour of sleep, and moment to recoup is a blessing appreciated. Having a sense of humor return and joy return is good.

 We know our other children will bounce back with us from the deluge of challenges that this new sibling brought. Perhaps now they only remember that Mom was too tired for words some mornings. She painfully and rather poorly tried to listen to them throughout the day because she was needing that extra half a night of sleep and trying not to show it. Sometimes they knew she was a terrible listener, with little patience, but they understood and never mentioned it. Our oldest play games with the other one to give Mom a nap. Our kids found that they came often second to the howling newcomer, who needed us. They know they were still loved, despite this time. Their needs have always been met, but not always their wants. Hopefully they learned that we can all stretch to accommodate and love another, even one who can seem inconsolable for a time. Love isn't easy, it requires sacrifice.

Now we get to bask in the joy of giggles and smiles and coos from a bright eyed child who is very engaging. She is finding her voice, and we hear her calling out like a baby dino. She belly laughs, and she smiles almost all the time. She is a happy person for the most part. She still erupts and is sometimes very much like a fountain, so we just try to manage the messy moments. But she is becoming a healthy, happy baby and we appreciate every step in that direction. Happy baby makes a much happier time of it for everyone! We're glad the fourth trimester is all done!