Got Goodness?

This week I ask myself this every day, if I am being good. That's what I want for my kids, but is it modeled first for them? There is never enough goodness in the world, or in my home. I think that's why all children are so special, they have so much of it. A real childhood is full of it. It's very absence and devaluing within our modern culture creates the vast emptiness that celebrates nothing, the darkness that always turns inward into a wasteland. There are so many people who have nothing to live for, and no one to encourage them. But goodness is essential to the health of the heart, mind and body, and I think everyone yearns for it. We desire it in courtesy, and kindness. When people fail to show it, I am let down. When I can't find it I am sad. When I don't have it I am depressed. Well, somehow in the busyness of getting us settled the past few weeks, it's been so burdening to be doing everything that needs to be done to create an ordered home, that I find I am less present to my kids. It know it. I feel it. At this age they want my attention at every moment, and I can't concentrate for more than a brief time unless they are in bed. I don't want to give them screen time for my need for a break. Sometimes we have a sitter, but that's a drain for Mom on time too.  This leads me at times to want to "get away" mentally (while still being here physically) to try to focus on these pressing tasks, and gives them free time to think of crazy things to do. So then when they see they are annoying me, pestering me, or getting into mischief, but they're getting my attention, they keep it up or worse, ramp it up. I guess it's better to have a have a unhappily attentive, annoyed parent's attention, or even a negative consequence, than no attention at all for these brief periods in a three and four year olds mind. When these moments happen, as they have been happening more recently, I am dismayed. Why are my kids behaving more badly I have asked myself? Well it could be the string of broken items, new messes, and new naughty opportunities within a new home is partly normal adjustments, but I think some could also be occurring from busy parents.
 Today I could see by someone's beautiful example that I could spend more time affirming in them their goodness, their excitement and wonder more than I have recently. We have a lot going on, and moving in is the biggest distraction to our regular routine. Having a bigger house added another big pack of burdens (the list of handy things to do is quite long). Simplicity, what I long for, is not something I have a lot of at the moment. Without some simplicity, I am not present to what matters most, or rather whom. I was reminded the priorities that matter so much today (unpacking boxes, organizing rooms, setting up school routines, etc.) are not as important as the people I am doing them for. It will certainly not matter the day my children move away, or the day I leave this earth.

I witnessed someone today with so much goodness, and attentive presence toward my children, (and other children), that I was deeply moved. Now,to be fair,  she only saw my children for a fraction of the time I do, but her manner was truly kind and wholly absent of any annoyance during some challenging behavior. That's what moved me. I wanted more of what she had. Her presence was so peaceful, providing gentle redirection. Her candle was a bright flame of kindness. Goodness can be effective, and gentle, and strong. Truth, goodness and beauty are the three things we say we seek after in our home. Somehow goodness has for the moment been overlooked by utility, which is not rewarding. So goodness is our theme, it is the sweetness of childhood, the best of what we can be, and the germination of it leads to health and life for the heart. Thank God for people who remind us to be more.